Buy McDonald's McCrispy Chicken Burger At Your Own Risk

Or try it for curiosity's sake. Do it at your own risk at the Big M.

I was at a McDonald's chain in Manila this afternoon with my girlfriend looking for something to munch on. Looking at the menu, I was thinking like "Cheeseburger? Nah. Big Mac? Too expensive for a snack. McChicken Burger? Why not?" Scrolling my eyes further, I saw a cheaper alternative, right on for a snack - the McCrispy Chicken Burger. It's helluva lot cheaper, plus it's the same chicken-y McDonald's burger. So what the hell right? I ordered it anyway.

As I was opening the burger wrapper, I quickly noticed that there was no chicken patty sticking out near the rim of the burger bread. You see the patty immediately after opening the burger wrapper, yes? Well not this time. I only saw bread. Two loaves of bread stacked upon each other. Nothing more. I thought "So okay. Bite me."

So bite I did. What the hell. If it was not magic, then it should've been something. My teeth didn't grip no chicken patty on the burger. I decided to do a little investigating (I call opening the burger to see the patty inside a little investigating). And what the hell (for the third time)! The patty! It was like a little smudgeowhachamacallitglobclustershoot in the middle of the bread! And get this, I was so disappointed with it I decided to create an MSPaint ala blueprint of it since I forgot to take a picture of it. Look:

For the record, this was the first time that I ordered this meal at McDonald's. I guess I'm just not used to receiving shortchanged McDonald's products. What you see above is what I can say an almost perfect representation of the McCrispy Chicken Burger. The chicken patty is "that" small. And I'm hell sure this ain't happening at other McDonald's branches on other Asian countries. I guess that's capitalism.

I'll not generalizing the whole Philippine McDonald's franchise. They just don't deserve it. Maybe I just ran out of luck at this specific McDonald's chain in Manila. Perhaps this branch at Manila is the only branch that serves that small a chicken patty in the whole Philippines, or not.

Should I stick with McDonald's Cheeseburger? Will I encounter more McFailures at other McDonald's branches here in the Metro? Should I file for a lawsuit (too much. Just kidding)? Stay tuned and find out more about my McDonald's adventures here at Tj's Daily®

And just to eff everyone of you up, here's the first supposed McDonald's TV commercial in the world ever:

'Till my next installment.